It’s Time to Move on From Chick Wars

On Wednesday night I participated in another TweetChat (what can I say? I’m obsessed) hosted by The Indie Chicks. The topic: #ChickWars.What exactly is a chick war you might ask? Well, It’s when women tear down other women. It can also be referred to as girl hate. And it’s kind of like what Lex was talking about in her “Jealous when you see another woman succeed? It’s not just you” post when she mentioned how we as women unconsciously pit ourselves against each other.Photo taken from The Glass House RetreatWhat I liked about this TweetChat was that most women were using it in a way that transformed the conversation from this fixation of hating on one another towards one of promoting support for one another as women. Or at least those were the Tweets I was concentrating on.As women, we seem to love tearing one another down… wait, no we don’t! Not really. So, why have this conversation about chick wars in the first place? Because women still feel threatened by other women.I mentioned in the TweetChat that we needed to re-frame the conversation: building each other up will bring us closer to breaking the glass ceiling than fighting over the same hammer.I think it just gets too easy to focus on what someone else is doing wrong and bundle everything up into a negative mass of unproductiveness. I know I am certainly guilty of doing this myself. It may seem easier than trying to work together to change the structural and cultural barriers that we as women are still struggling with when it comes to leaning in to authority and harnessing our sense of power. And when women do not have equal access to that power, I wonder how much that causes us to target the wrong thing? As I mentioned on Wednesday night: Let’s change dangerous structures not hate on one another. Your fellow chicks are NOT the problem.I couldn’t help but smile at the computer screen and furiously nod my head every time a woman was clearly owning her own sense of power and assertiveness and used that confidence in herself and her abilities to support other women.Here are three pieces of advice from the TweetChat that I thought were worth highlighting:

  1. Jewels, COO & Senior Editor of The Indie Chicks, says: The only reason there’s a stereotype that women tear each other down is because we continue to. End the cycle. #takeaway #icchat 
  2. Roxanne had this to say: Best advice? Mentor a girl/woman. #icchat 
  3. And I just had to include this one by Kim MacKenzie: Don’t be like crabs in the bucket dragging each other down into misery. Rather be a cheerleader & let each other fly #icchat 

Needless to say, I was retweeting like crazy.The women involved in this TweetChat were truly awesome and left me feeling this sense of sisterhood. The conversation ended with me knowing that I was now connected with a sassy and determined collective force of powerful women ready to conquer the world… together.I literally cannot wait for the next one.And now we want to hear about YOU. If you have a personal experience where another woman supported you, helped you become successful, or built you up so that you could follow your ambitions please tell us in the comments below. We would love to hear your story!

Kaitlin writes about current events, pop culture, and innovative ways to promote gender equality through online advocacy. Read more of Kaitlin’s posts here.