Kindness As Power: Jacinda Ardern On What All Leaders Must Do
Reshma Saujani (L) in conversation with Jacinda Ardern, former New Zealand Prime Minister, at the recent Chicago Humanities Fest.
Only the second nation leader in world history to have a baby while in office, former Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern, dedicates her new book to “the criers, worriers and huggers.” And she is not talking about newborns.
The 44-year-old who became the 40th prime minister of a country in 2017 that has only seen three women in that position, was recently on stage for the Chicago Humanities Festival discussing her memoir, A Different Kind of Power.
Her book deals with the intimacies of leading a country and maintaining authenticity as well as the struggles of expressing her emotions, and the challenges of motherhood, work and mission combined. This is a conundrum facing all leaders who identify as women and experience the needs of all their roles colliding.
Retiring after six years in that position, Ardern is fervent about her beliefs on the need to embrace compassion, kindness and empathy as a world leader and a leader of organizations.
Read more in Take The Lead on kindness in leadership
“I would encourage my daughter to go into politics; it would be a noble act of service,” says Ardern, who was elected Prime Minister at 37. She was newly pregnant with her daughter, Leve, and the youngest leader of that country in 150 years.
““I would encourage my daughter to go into politics; it would be a noble act of service,” former NZ PM @JacindaArdern told @ReshmaSaujani @chihumanities event. #leadership #rolemodel”
In conversation with Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code, Marshall Plan for Moms, and ally of Take The Lead, Ardern is now a U.S. resident as founder of the Field Fellowship of Empathetic Leadership, and senior fellow at Harvard University.
Read more in Take The Lead on Reshma Saujani
“I still feel like I hold the role of New Zealand Ambassador. One of the values gifted by New Zealanders is that you are a host and you bring generosity to your guests,” says Ardern, who was a New Zealand Parliament member for 10 years before her election to prime minister.
Her path as prime minister is the subject of a new documentary, Prime Minister, created by her husband, Clarke Gayford. It has received rave reviews and is showing in 100 cinemas across the country through June 18.
“I could not have done this without my husband,” Ardern says in the film. “He started filming and I was not happy. I hope it humanizes politics and leadership. You can be a mother, a nerd, a crier and you can lead just like me.”
Read more from Gloria Feldt on global leadership
Before an audience of 1,000 at Northwestern University, Saujani says to Ardern, “People recognized your potential.” Still, “People can’t rationalize why any sane person would go into politics,” says Saujani, who herself ran for office twice in Illinois. “You are finally answering the complexity of that question.”
“People recognized your potential,” @ReshmaSaujani, founder of @Girlswhocode told @JacindaArdern. #globalleadership ”
Adding to the complexity and what tampers with that potential for women in particular, Saujani says, is the ever-present imposter syndrome. “There is language we use from preventing women from progressing,” Saujani says.
Ardern refers to this as the confidence gap, and says her own father called her too “thin-skinned” for the role. Recalling when she was a member of parliament visiting a school that had a leadership program for teen girls, Ardern says she asked the students to write down their ideal job or dream career. Then she asked the young women to write down what they think they will do.
Read more in Take The Lead on stereotypes of women leaders
“One 16-year-old said, ‘I would love to be a doctor, but I think I’ll be a travel agent because there will be someone who is better than me,’” Ardern recalls.
“This is a confidence gap, whether we use the title or not, it’s in us,” says Ardern, whose daughter is now six. “We treat this as weakness or frailty.”
“The #confidencegap is there whether we acknowledge it or not, says @JacindaArdern, youngest woman to lead NZ in 150 years. @takeleadwomen #genderparity”
New research out of the Career Development Institute in the U.K. surveying more than 5,000 working adults shows that “32% of women cited a lack of confidence as a major obstacle to achieving career goals, compared to 25% of men.”
Additionally, the study shows, “While 65% of men felt positive about their career to date, only 57% of women shared this view. Just 24% of women saw lots of career options open to them, compared to 31% of men. A reported 79% of women report lacking confidence at work, compared to 62% of men.”
Saujani adds, “Perfection for women’s leadership is dangerous.”
Ardern agrees. “You can’t be what you can’t see. We need representative forms of leadership.” She adds, “One thing that quiets the noise is the sense of responsibility.”
Considering the culture of leadership in the U.S. today, that Ardern describes as based on ego and disinformation, ”Empathy and kindness are what we need more of.”
Read more in Take The Lead on leading with empathy
With all of her life on global public display, Ardern says the difficulties of working parents became center stage and she was criticized and applauded for it all. Such a high-profile pregnancy led to her breastfeeding at the United Nations, and her husband, Gayford, changing their daughter’s diapers at the UN.
“Those moments are very leveling and universal about parenthood,” Ardern says. “The guilt that you should always be somewhere else. You can lead a country and still feel bad. We don’t give ourselves grace.”
“Guilt of working parents: “You can lead a country and still feel bad. We don’t give ourselves grace,” @JacindaArdern, senior fellow @HarvardUniversity said about always needing to be somewhere else. @UnitedNations #parenthood #workingmothers #leadership”
The gap in leadership parity, a mission of Take The Lead, is still a major global concern. The Global Gender Gap 2024 Insight Report, from the World Economic Forum shows that “New Zealand is the highest-ranking country in the region and is placed 4th globally (83.5%). North America, including the U.S., reports a gender parity score of 74.8%.”
As a female leader and parent, it was keen for Ardern to look out for families and the policies that deeply affect them. “We extended policy for six months family leave and tax credit for a child, and child support subsidies, because families should be able to choose.”
Her tenure as Prime Minister held some historic catastrophes for the country including the 2019 massacre at Christchurch. “I was called the Nation’s Chief Mourner,” says Ardern of the attack by “white supremacists who killed 51 people at two mosques.”
Read more from Gloria Feldt on women leading in crisis
Mocked for crying in announcements about updates of the attack, Ardern says, “All I can do is be the best leader I can be. But there is no empathy without action; we changed the gun laws in 27 days.”
“There is no empathy without action,” says @JacindaArdern on changing @NewZealand #gunlaws after @Christchurch massacre. @chihumanities”
Ardern writes in her book, “Kindness has a power and a strength that almost nothing else on this planet has. I’d seen kindness do extraordinary things: I’d seen it give people hope; I’d seen it change minds and transform lives. I wasn’t afraid to say it aloud, and as soon as I said it, I was sure: kindness. This would be my guiding principle no matter what lay ahead.”
Read more in Take The Lead empathy as power
And kindness was also a guiding principle during COVID, when she was criticized for the country’s confusion about vaccines and succumbing to outbreaks after a long stretch of no cases at all.
Read more from Gloria Feldt on Ardern’s leadership style with reporters
“Covid was hard for everyone.” Ardern says. “We have the idea in leadership that we must demonstrate absolute knowledge and can never say. ‘I don’t know.’ When people are fearful, they share information, but you have to have a plan. We tried to have a strategy but messages about long covid were exacerbated by misinformation.”
The Carnegie Endowment for International Peace recently reported that disinformation is a global crisis disrupting democracies. “While some dismiss this content as another form of political satire, the relentless barrage of AI-generated misinformation and disinformation will likely increase voter confusion, create false perceptions of candidates, and fuel cynicism toward the entire electoral process. Female politicians, especially, face a much greater threat of deepfakes than their male counterparts because of gender disinformation, sexualized targeting, and societal biases, which amplify reputational harm, online harassment, and the emotional toll, eroding public trust in women’s leadership.”
Having experienced this in office, after six years leading New Zealand, in 2023, Ardern decided it was time to go. “It is hard to exit politics. You lose or you die. What if actually it is just time. I had been in parliament for 10 years, it was time to hand the baton over,” she says.
Writing about Ardern’s retirement from office, Gloria Feldt, co-founder and president of Take The Lead comments, “Knowing when you need to recharge your own tank and intentioning it into being might be one of the greatest measures of emotional intelligence.”
Saujani comments, “You’re complicated because you are not pursuing power, but deeply committed to purpose.”
Ardern responds, “Most people have the traits I value but they don’t end up in politics.”
Saujani answers, “Politics needs a makeover.”
Ardern, who says she the her first vote she ever cast was for a woman prime minister, says this is a troubling time in political history.
“Look back in history and you can find patterns. There is a response to fear and uncertainty.” U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, for instance, she says, was transparent and compassionate about government policy. “We’ve been here before,” she says.
“People do not want to be this divided,” Saujani says.
Ardern has a suggestion for policymakers and elected officials everywhere. “Test if you could be guided by kindness. I like to think I proved you could. Give voters a choice for kindness and compassion.”
Kindness is still a mission and leadership lifestyle she reveres. As is the confidence gap of uncertainty she holds.
“Give voters a choice for kindness and compassion.” @JacindaArdern tells @ReshmaSaujani @chihumanities on #politics #leadership #kindness. ”
“After retiring I still carry it with me after years of leading a country,” Ardern says. “It’s a trait that helps me. We don’t just sit there with discomfort, we prepare as much as we can. If you go and listen to experts, you’ll bring humility to your leadership. Seeking advice and expertise from others is a strength. But it’s a strength until you let it stop you.”
Obviously the former Prime Minister did not let it stop her.
