Speak Up, Be Independent, Mentor Women: Jill Biden on White House Lessons
Jill Biden (right) in conversation with Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau at recent Chicago Humanities Festival.
Her silence was heard around the world.
Immediately following the infamous June 27, 2024 presidential debate between Democratic candidate Joe Biden and Republican candidate Donald Trump, the expectation was First Lady Jill Biden would publicly express her concern for her husband’s verbal stumbling, confusion and apparent incapacity.
But she only told her husband her thoughts privately and stayed mum publicly. When he waked off the Atlanta stage after the failed debate, he whispered to Jill, “I really f—cked up, didn’t I, Jill?”
Jill Biden, now 75, says she responded to him, “Yes, you did, Joe.”
Speaking candidly before a cheering and supportive crowd as part of the Chicago Humanities Festival recently, the only first lady in U.S. history who ever held a job during a spouse’s presidency, Biden was thoughtful and transparent about the mistake that changed history.
“@DrBiden @chihumanities, the only 1st lady to hold a job while spouse in office, after Joe’s 2024 debate debacle when he said he f—ked up, she said, ‘Yes, you did, Joe.’ #politics #history ”
On stage in an interview with Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau, former First Lady of Canada and former wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Biden echoed the message that she wrote about in her latest book, Jill Biden: View From The East Wing. “The biggest lesson for us, I think, was that if you don’t explain something well enough then the question won’t go away.”
“The power of a woman’s voice, once ignited, is not to be underestimated. But it’s only powerful if it’s used,” says Gloria Feldt, co-founder and president of Take The Lead. The Power Up Conference on August 26 takes on that issue and more strategically at the Power in several sessions.
Read more in Take The Lead on speaking out
Yes, there were a myriad of complicating and mitigating factors preceding and following that event, but many question her choice to stay silent.
A 2023 Oxford study of gendered responses in political media finds, “The normative implications suggest women in the media often face an uphill battle to advocate for their interests on key issues that affect them even when they may have more direct relevant experience in addition to their qualifications.” Additionally, “These results hold important implications for women experts in politics, as they face an uphill battle to share their perspective, particularly on issues that impact women the most.”
“@UniofOxford study: Women in #politics face an uphill battle to share their perspective, particularly on issues that impact women the most. #leadership #speakup”
The reticence is real.
Read more from Gloria Feldt on the power of a First Lady’s words
Biden explains the circumstances of that night when the tide turned to relieve Biden from the run for president and endorse Kamala Harris instead. “When Joe was at debate camp, I had not seen him for two weeks. {On debate night), I walked into the hotel room and he was lying on the bed and said he didn’t feel that well.”
She told him to hurry and get ready and he complied.
Listen to Take The Lead podcast on making your voice heard
“In the elevator I thought his color looks off. Then we get there and I’m in the green room watching the TV monitor and we see that moment when Joe freezes and I think, ‘Oh my God what is going on?’ I was frightened, I thought he was having a stroke. I was so worried that something happened. “
Biden continues, “A team of doctors looked at him then and he was fine afer that. He took the mic at three events later and was fine. Then we got on Air Force One and landed at 3 a.m. in N. Carolina and there were hundreds of supporters there. It was surreal and it went downhill from there.”
Part of her decision to stay supportive of his run for a time was “the fine line” of crossing boundaries between the business of the West Wing and the East Wing—"now destroyed,” Biden says-- and the former First Lady’s office.
“Part of @DrBiden decision to stay supportive of @JoeBiden ‘s run was “the fine line” of crossing boundaries between the business of the #WestWing and the #EastWing #protocol #history #politics”
Read more in Take The Lead on First Lady of Ukraine
Responding to Gregoire-Trudeau’s question, Biden says, “I usually kept my thoughts to myself, I wondered if I should speak up more, maybe not. I am so heartbroken. If you speak up too much, you’re too aggressive. I respected Joe’s staff fully. I didn’t criticize his staff. We weren’t going to interfere with each other’s staff.”
It’s a contradiction to her personal conviction of independence, but also ultimately not her decision to make.
Biden says, “I better be independent and I have pushed that idea in to daughter and my granddaughters. No matter what, you have to be independent.”
That belief is echoed in the book’s dedication: “I dedicate the book to my daughter Ashley, my granddaughters Naomi, Finnegan, Maisy and Natalie. And to all women finding their way forward. May you embrace your independence and stay true to yourself.”
“In her #memoir, @DrBiden: “I dedicate the book to my daughter Ashley, my granddaughters Naomi, Finnegan, Maisy and Natalie. And to all women finding their way forward. May you embrace your independence and stay true to yourself.” #legacy @chihumanities”
Read more in Take The Lead on New Zealand First Lady
Dressed in a white and brightly colored floral pantsuit and sequined high heel pumps, Biden says to Gregoire Trudeau, author of the 2024 book, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other, that her love of shoes is real. “The higher the heel, the closer to God.” She adds that there is a cost to that expression of fashion. “It’s truly a fishbowl. Anything I wore I felt judged.” Especially the lace fishnets she wore to an official event.
She learned from her first marriage that lasted five years beginning when she was in college, that she was going to continue working. “I got my own paycheck. So I am not asking him for money for pantyhose.”
Read more in Take The Lead on the cost of appearance as a female leader
Even while serving as First Lady, Biden taught at North Virginia Community College. “I raised three children, was working full time, got my masters in English, so I went for a doctorate. I feel like I’m an independent woman, and am honored by every moment of being First Lady, but teaching was my love.”
“@DrBiden: I raised 3 children, was working full time, got my masters in English, so I went for a doctorate. I feel like I’m an independent woman, and am honored by every moment of being 1st Lady, but teaching was my love.” @WhiteHouse #lessons @chihumanities”
Gregoire-Trudeau, the mother of three, tells Biden on stage, “Of all the people I have met on the political path, you are very real. You meet a lot of people who are performative. We live in countries where the erosion of trust is real, it’s degrading.” She adds, “Politics now is more divisive and more hateful.”
“Of all the people I have met on the political path, you are very real. Former 1st Lady of @Canada SophieGregoirTrudeau: “We live in countries where the erosion of trust is real, it’s degrading. #Politics now is more divisive and more hateful.” #diplomacy”
Biden says she wanted to tell her story of her time in the White House because, “All these people wrote all these books about this time and I wanted to give my thoughts. Joy is one emotion, as there were so many wonderful times at the White House, but also sadness. So this is how I felt about everything from state dinners to Joe getting out of the race, meeting first ladies, going to Native lands.”
A recent You Gov poll of U.S. President and first ladies shows, “Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (+56) remains by far the favorite. The first ladies with the next highest net ratings are Rosalynn Carter (+32), Nancy Reagan (+25), Lady Bird Johnson (+23), Babara Bush (+21), Michelle Obama (+21), and Laura Bush (+19). Hillary Clinton (-17), Melania Trump (-16), and Jill Biden (-9) receive net negative ratings.”
Read more in Take The Lead on Hilary Clinton
Gregoire-Trudeau comments, “We have come full circle and it is a moment of cohesion when the world is spinning. You can make a broken nation whole with love and small acts of kindness.”
Married for 49 years to Joe Biden, Jill says life today for him is “not great.” She explains, “He has stage 4 prostate cancer, metastasized to his bones. It’s really hard to watch somebody go through cancer. My parents, Beau (Biden) and now Joe at 83. He’s not giving up.”
She adds, “The 49 years are a product of respect. He wanted me to have my career. We have support for one another, not blind devotion.”
Both Jill and Joe Biden appeared on stage three days later at the dedication of the Barack Obama Presidential Center in Chicago.
“On @DrBiden ,75, married to @JoeBiden ,83, for 49 years: “The 49 years are a product of respect. He wanted me to have my career. We have support for one another, not blind devotion.” @marriage #legacy #White House ”
Growing up in Willow Grove, Penn. the oldest of five girls, Biden says, “As older sister, I always felt responsible for the rest of the girls. Our dad died first, after our mom died, I moved into that role.”
Read more in Take The Lead on the power of moving from grief
She is also a firm believer in women mentoring women.
“It is important for us to mentor other women, whatever field you’re in. One of the beauties of being a teacher is you bring each other up.” She adds that after leaving the White House, she contemplated, what she could do now to help women, in addition to her work on military families, mental health and cancer research.
“It is important for us to mentor other women, whatever field you’re in,” says @DrBiden #EastWing #mentorship #leadership #parity @chihumanities.”
Read more in Take The Lead on mentorship and military families
“I could help women in prison get GED training and workforce training, so I created a program with Del Tech Community College—my first job—to get these women to college.”
Read more from Gloria Feldt on mentorship
Biden, who says her code name for the Secret Service was Capri, because she is Italian, and Joe Biden’s code name was Celtic because he is Irish, says mentoring is an obligation and a necessity.
“I would mentor students and say you have to make time for yourself, just 15 minutes. Whatever it is that can bring you peace in your life,” She says. “I felt I was a reflection of American women today; you have families, your job, maybe parents you are taking care of. I compartmentalized, because you have to be there, present for the people.”
“I felt I was a reflection of American women today; you have families, your job, maybe parents you are taking care of. I compartmentalized, because you have to be there, present for the people.” says @DrBiden #mentorship #powerUp @takeleadwomen ”
Read more in Take the Lead on mentorship and framing history
What helps her is exercise. “I started out as a runner, raising my daughter, instead of arguing, I would start to run, and I became a marathoner. I exercise every morning, do cycling, Pilates, tennis, swim, walk. If I get up and exercise, I can handle the whole day.”
Read more in Take The Lead on power of exercise and health
Her experiences align with a Power Up Conference panel, The Audacity to Thrive: Women Claiming Midlife Health & Power that deals with confidence and self-advocacy strategies for navigating change at every life stage.
Before receiving a standing ovation and cheers, Biden tells the audience, “There are people dealing with grief, loss, addiction and are swept up in our lives so we become broken. But through our healing, you become stronger from what you’ve experienced.”
She adds, “My mother’s quote to me was to know yourself. Know who you are and stay true to that person. There is so much vitriol and cruelty and chaos, it’s hard to stay true to ourselves.”
“There is so much vitriol and cruelty and chaos, it’s hard to stay true to ourselves.
I learned you can take something good from something bad.” @DrBiden #lessons #leadership @takeleadwomen”
The best lesson, she says, is ,“I learned you can take something good from something bad.”
Take The Lead’s Power Up Conference 2026, Audacity: Leadership In Action, features a diverse group of speakers and experts speaking on the importance of inclusive leadership and strategies to solve systemic and historical barriers across all sectors. Panels in addition to women’s health include Power of Care: Women Leading at Work and at Home—strategies for redefining success and setting boundaries when caregiving and career collide; Invest in Yourself: Women, Money & Long-Term Success—practical tools for negotiation, investing, and building wealth on your own terms; The Human Advantage: AI Risks, Representation & Real Solutions—how to build confidence with emerging technology and shape the future of work instead of getting left behind by it; Young, Bold & Unstoppable: No Seat at the Table? Build One. — practical ways to turn your voice and lived experience into purpose-driven leadership, and more. Learn more and register here.
