Make The Ask: Great Outcomes May Result
Issue 2884— May 4, 2026
The weirdest thing happened last Thursday.
At the end of a long and intense day, I was listening to the audiobook of Emma Grede’s New York Times bestselling book, Start With Yourself, while absent mindedly treating myself to salted caramel gelato. I’ll bet you’ve had days like that.
With Emma’s lilting British accented voice in my ears, I glanced at my email. What I saw shocked me.
The email was from Emma, thanking me for my likes and shares, soliciting further input and engagement especially around wealth building tools. This strange confluence of voice and message from someone I’ve never met but have been thinking a lot about (see last week’s post) was eerie.
I sat with it for a few minutes while my ice cream melted.
Click here to watch Emma Grede talk about her philosophy and why she says it’s important to start with yourself.
Then skepticism took over. I assumed this well-written email was an AI-generated message that used AI tools to reach out to individuals who had exhibited some level of interest. The timing was mere serendipity. Calm down.
Yet, starting with the email address, which wasn’t the usual spam oddity, it seemed legit enough that I decided to reply as follows:
Dear Emma,
I have no idea whether you actually wrote this or if you will see my reply.
But as it happens, I am listening to your book at this exact moment that your email popped into my phone. So I am going to trust.
My first thought: are you clairvoyant as well as a brilliant businesswoman? Did you hack my notes function where I am writing down my thoughts on the book?
Did you read my blogpost on my points of agreement or my shorter commentary on social media? Did Manychat tell you I liked more than one of your posts?
Whatever, hello, Emma.
Pleased to meet you here in my inbox.
A little about me. I’m president of Take The Lead, a nonprofit organization with an entrepreneurial mindset, the mission of gender parity in leadership across all sectors, and a unique leadership program proven to advance women. I cofounded it 13 years ago based on one of my books, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power.
Many of my research findings and lived experiences as a CEO are a mind meld with you.
And you exemplify the intentional woman of my latest book, Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics and How Women Will Take the Lead for (Everyone’s) Good. Much of what I learned and teach about leadership I learned on the job in my 30 years leading Planned Parenthood, nine as national president.
Since you prefer straight talk and so do I, I will cut to the chase. I want to see you on the stage of our Power Up Conference August 26, at the Ritz Carlton in Washington DC.
I just listened to the part [of your book] where you expressed disdain at someone who asked for your help without offering value to you, on the assumption that because you are a woman you would automatically help another woman.
But I also hear you say repeatedly that you want to help women in the collective. And that is what you will be doing when you say yes. Big time. We put the legs onto your no BS message with a unique program that helps women “start with themselves.“ They assess their value, embrace their power, and have the skills and a plan to achieve their intention.
You don’t need more publicity but we do expect a lot of high level earned and social media. Margaret Atwood will start off the conference and the rest will be spent on no BS solutions to the current problems women face, such as caregiving, healthcare disparities, wealth building, and socially learned ambivalence about power (money and power being synonymous in our culture). We will have a bookstore and can do a dedicated signing time if you wish. We expect 1000 participants between the vip dinner on the 25th and the conference on the 26th.
Your message is the necessary antidote. You will see the evidence of our impact in our 9 Power Tool course graduates who will be honored along with you.
Happy to take a flight to Los Angeles to meet with you in person.
Timing, they say, is everything. You popped into my inbox while your voice was in my ear. I look forward to speaking with you IRL.
A back-and-forth conversation has ensued.
I’ll let you wonder along with me whether this is a complete fake or a real connection and will report in next week as to whether anything comes of it either way.
Meanwhile, I continue to highly recommend the book and would love to get your thoughts on it.
To be sure, starting with yourself can sound selfish on its face. But dig a little deeper and you’ll realize that it’s actually radical self-responsibility.
Can starting with yourself turn into self-aggrandizing? Possibly. Can it turn into unearned arrogance? Yes. Can it turn into sociopathic Elon Musk-like ruthless disregard for the welfare of others? Of course. Like any other philosophy. If you take it to extremes, it can become an ugly flip side of itself.
But listen closely to Emma and you will hear a healthy self-respect which is essential to success, clarity of core values that you have to respect whether you agree with her or not, and an unmitigated willingness to do the hard work of both personal and professional growth.
Next week I will share a more thorough rendition of the many points where I agree with Emma and two significant ones where my view diverges from hers, in addition to the next episode in this tale.
Stay with me as it unfolds.
GLORIA FELDT is the Co-founder and President of Take The Lead, a motivational speaker, and a global expert in women’s leadership development and DEI for individuals and companies that want to build gender balance. She is a bestselling author of five books, most recently Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics, and How Women Will Take The Lead for (Everyone’s) Good. Honored as Forbes 50 Over 50, and Former President of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, she is a frequent media commentator. Learn more at www.gloriafeldt.com and www.taketheleadwomen.com. Find her @GloriaFeldt on all social media.